


Truth and Bone

by mzlynx



Series: Songs of Finn and Devotion [4]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: AU, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, season 5, time to grow up, what now?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 09:17:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mzlynx/pseuds/mzlynx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songs of Finn and Devotion - Part Four. Finn decides to hunt Rory down. As a result, suddenly he has to deal with lifechanging decisions and answer the most important question of them all: what kind of man does he want to be? (Scenario Three)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. Nor do I own any of the referenced music (extended musical info at the end).  
>  _AN: This is not a sequel per se, but instead one possible way things could have gone after the events of Part One, I’ll Remember You. Please remember that this is in no way connected to Parts Two and Three, meaning nothing described in them is true here._  
>  This is a WIP, as in "not finished, trying to find some progress in the work". Posting will be...irregular, most likely.

  
**Songs of Finn and Devotion, Part Four  
Truth and Bone**

 

_All of it, all of it, all of it stripped down  
All of it, all of it, all of it, to truth and bone_

 

**Prologue – Stripped Down**  


Rory was gone.  


The words echoed through his head, over and over, and made him dizzy. She was gone. “I fell in love with you” she’d written, and then she’d left. His head spun, his heart pounded an uneven rhythm and he felt slightly nauseous. She’d confessed to being in love, had forced him to see through his own lies and evasions and realize he too had fallen in love, and for what? So she could walk away?

He hadn’t felt this close to crying in years.

And then he started asking himself what the hell he was thinking? Brooding over a girl? Because a girl had walked out? One girl? There had been so many girls over the years, and if he walked out the door right then he could find a dozen to take her place – and yet, here he was moping over her? Why?

The reason he hadn’t been in a relationship in so many years wasn’t lack of options. There had been enough girls that would have been more than happy to be Finn Morgan’s girlfriend, for one reason or another – he just hadn’t taken any of them up on it. Love, after all, wasn’t something to be trusted, something to count on. Love only caused you pain.

So. If Rory really was in love with him, and he was in love with her, maybe it was best that she was gone. If she wasn’t there, then he wouldn’t be hurt. Right? _Or maybe you’ll be hurt **because** she isn’t here, you moron._ The voice sounded remarkably like his grandmother, who he **knew** would say something like that – had, in fact, on several occasions.

 _God, I need a drink._ He dropped the letter, got up and walked out of his empty – too empty – apartment. Hours later later he walked back in, more drunk than he’d been in months. However, the saying that you shouldn’t try and drown your sorrows since they’d only learn to swim seemed true. No matter how he tried to he couldn’t get the thoughts of Rory out of his head. It was easy to say that it was better that she was gone – not so easy to actually believe it, feel it.

He agonized over the problem – because that was how he insisted on seeing it, as a problem – throughout the rest of the night, and the early morning hours. Why did she have to involve **feelings**? Couldn’t she just have said “I’m leaving” and left it at that? Things, he suspected, would have been much easier for him then. Perhaps if he hadn’t been confronted with **her** feelings his own would have remained hidden?

A part of him protested violently at that thought. That part didn’t **want** to not know that he was in love with Rory Gilmore. That part wanted to be free, wanted out of the box he’d shut it in for so long. That part was his heart, whispering her name with its every beat. _Rory. Rory. Kitten..._

He’d been living in an emotional wasteland – but Rory Gilmore had changed that. He’d never meant for her to get that close, she just had, and he’d certainly never meant to **feel** things for her. Not aside from the obvious – sexual attraction came to mind instantly – of course, but here he was. The first times he’d seen her his only reaction had been just that, sexual, but it had changed after the party at her grandparents.

He’d felt sorry for her, so obviously ambushed and feeling both betrayed and unhappy, and later so broken by her boyfriend’s behavior. That had led to him developing a soft spot for her, something that had only grown as he saw more and more of her. Rory had needed to be taken care of, and somehow he’d taken on that role. It wasn’t how he usually operated – he might not be callous, but he wasn’t the go-to-guy for TLC – and that should have been his first warning. He hadn’t heard it.

The question was no longer if he cared for Rory – because he did. It wasn’t even if he wanted to care for her, or if he wanted her to feel the same. Those were all moot now. No, now the only question worth asking was whether or not he was willing to take a chance. If he wasn’t, well, then all he needed to do was stay on course. But if he was... If he was, then he really should be finding a way to get her back.

His logic and years of habit and experience said to walk away. His heart... His heart was screaming not to be an idiot and **go get** the girl. Something told him it would be a very bad idea not to listen. Did he want to try and stay detached, emotionally numb and essentially alone? That had, after all, been how he’d lived for years. It had worked fine, he tried telling himself, but that inner voice whispered _liar_ and he had to admit that it was right. It hadn’t been fine. **He** hadn’t been fine.

The truth was that while Rory might not have needed **him** , only someone willing to do what he had done, **he** needed **her**. No one else had gotten to him like she had, and to him that meant that if he wanted a change he needed her.

Having made up his mind Finn finally fell asleep. For the first time in what felt like forever he slept soundly and with good dreams.

~*~*~*~


	2. Chapter 2

  
**Songs of Finn and Devotion, Part Four  
Truth and Bone**

**Chapter 1: More Afraid**

 

_I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose_  
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose  
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light   


Waking up Finn felt the usual disorientation that came after drinking too much. Then his brain started functioning again and he remembered everything from last night, as well as the decision he’d made that morning. Find out where Rory was, go there and try and get her back. Right.

How then to proceed? The roommate was sure to know where Rory had gone, but it was unlikely she’d tell him. More than unlikely – from what Rory had told him the girl just might place him in the hospital for even daring to look at her. Going to Emily and Richard was an option, except that would lead to embarrassing questions, the answers to which could also land him in the hospital.

Usually when any of them needed information Logan was the one for the job. He had contacts everywhere. Unfortunately calling Logan wasn’t an option. Finn had no reason to believe that the blond would find out Rory’s whereabouts for him without an explanation, and even less to believe that Logan would accept the only one Finn had with good grace.

In the end, strangely enough, his best bet seemed to be Lorelai Gilmore. Sure, Rory’s mother hated society – and everyone in it, meaning she hated him by default – but he just might be able to get to her anyway. After all, it was less than likely that Rory would have told her about Finn – so he should be able to come up with a good excuse. Like, say, the collection of music and movies he’d dragged back from Australia because he’d thought Rory would enjoy them. _Which should have told him this thing with Rory was more than he was admitting..._ If that thought was called a promise, then wouldn’t a caring mother be helpful and hand over her daughter’s address? And if not, then surely she’d offer to see that Rory would get the package? So, he’d place a note in one of the DVDs, just in case, and hope for the best.

Said and done. Finn agonized over that note in a way that should have been amusing – he hadn’t spent that much time on a piece of writing since... well, anyway, for a really long time – but finally he was satisfied with the wording. The note, along with a few carefully selected DVDs, was placed in a box and wrapped up securely. Then Finn left for the Independence Inn, since Lorelai should be working.

Two hours hours after arriving he was still sitting in his car, staring at the Inn’s entrance. He’d open the door to get up, then second guess himself, close it again and sit there like an idiot. Wait a little while to get his nerve back, and repeat. Over and over. He was a coward. When he opened the door for what must have been at least the fiftieth time, thinking that **this** time he wouldn’t chicken out, the Inn’s front door opened and a brunette exited. For a second he thought it might be **her** and his heart rate spiked, only to slow down in disappointment when he realized it wasn’t so.

It was, however, Lorelai Gilmore, and as she jumped into a Jeep Finn decided to follow her back to Stars Hollow. Surely this conversation was better held in private? Surely...

~*~*~*~

Finn parked on the street outside of what must be the Gilmore house, took a deep breath and got out before he could loose his nerve. He walked up to the door, the one Lorelai had just closed behind her, and rang the bell. Then he waited, with his heart pounding and a slight feeling of nausea that couldn’t be blamed on the night before.

When Lorelai opened Finn pulled out his most disarming smile, and started with his story.

“Miss Gilmore? Hello. You don’t know me, but I’m a friend of Rory’s from Yale, Finn Morgan, and...”

“Is that what you’re calling it these days?” Lorelai’s voice was icy, and Finn was starting to think he’d made a huge mistake in going to her.

“I know **exactly** who you are, Finn Morgan, just as I know what kind of ‘friends’ you and my daughter were. I can guess what you’re doing here. Well, she’s not here, and she doesn’t want you to go looking for her. So why don’t you just go on back to Yale and your bimbos, okay? Actually, I don’t care what you do, just stay away from Rory.”

Finn wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t trust Lorelai Gilmore. Something told him not to believe a single word coming out of her mouth. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to. It probably had a lot to with the many not so good things Rory had told him about her mother. Or it could be the strange, satisfied yet nervous, look in her eyes.

He was still contemplating his response when he heard the back door open and another person enter the house. Now, either Lorelai had made up with either of the men in her life, or...

“Mom? Did they call from the doctor’s office yet?”

Rory.

Lorelai tried shutting the door, but was too late as Rory walked into the room. She caught sight of Finn and stopped as if she’d slammed into an invisible wall. He just stood there and drank her in. She looked tired, drained and pale, and his brain connected her looks to her words. _Doctor? Is she sick? Is that why she left Yale like that? But why not tell me so, instead of..._ And then his brain made another connection, another jump, and he felt his face turn as pale as Rory’s. _Oh God, no. Please, no. Not that. Anything, just not that._

“Finn? What... Why are you here?”

“I was trying to find out where you’d gone, and why you left. And since you’re here... Could we talk? Privately,” he added with a pointed glance at her mom.

“Oh, yeah, okay. Ehm, I guess we could go outside?”

Once they were outside Finn gestured towards his car, the only place he could think of to sit where Lorelai wouldn’t be able to listen to them, all the while searching Rory’s face for information, for clues. He didn’t find anything definitive though – the only thing he could tell for sure was that she was uncomfortable. He didn’t like making her feel that way, he really didn’t, but right then he had bigger concerns. He had to know.

“Look, I really do want to talk about why you left. It’s just... I heard you saying something about a call from a doctor. I know you had all those headaches, and a few doctor’s appointments because of them.  
When I read your letter I figured you’d transferred, probably because of some sort of scholarship, or maybe gotten an internship. Instead you’re back here. And honestly, you’re not looking well.  
I need to know, Rory. What’s going on? How sick are you, really? I just...” and he gathered all his courage to ask the one question that scared him the most.

“Is it cancer?”

Rory’s eyes and mouth went round, like perfect little o’s, and she was speechless. Once upon a time – hell, just half an hour ago – the sight of her would have warmed his heart, but now it felt like nothing ever could again. His heart, that had missed a beat from the joy of hearing her voice again but now felt heavier and colder with every passing second. He wanted Rory back more than anything, wanted to be in her life, but...

He tried telling himself that it didn’t **have** to be, that it could be any number of things, but his brain kept coming back to the one thing he didn’t know if he had the strength to deal with. He’d gone through it once – could he see Rory waste away like that?

Then again, could he not? If that was how it was, could he really claim to love her and let her go through it alone?

“Cancer?” She looked like the word was in some foreign language. “You think I have cancer?”

“I don’t know what to think, Rory.” His voice came out tired, pleading, even scared. He didn’t care. All he cared about was getting an answer.

“No, I don’t have cancer. So, there, now you know. You can go back to Yale now.”

“Are you serious? ‘Go back to Yale’? I want to know why the hell you just walked out like that, without an explanation, and I’m not leaving until you tell me. And don’t give me any shit about ‘an offer you couldn’t refuse’, because I’m not buying it. If that was true then you sure wouldn’t be staying with your mom.”

He was angry, well, more scared, but it was all coming out as anger. Rory flinched a little, and then visibly braced herself, the way she always did when forced to talk about things she’d rather not.

“I’m not sick. I just decided to take some time off from Yale. And why should I have told you anything at all? I didn’t owe you anything. It’s not like we were a couple or anything, Finn, we were barely friends!”

That hurt. It was supposed to, he guessed, a comment designed to make him back of. That didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Is that really how you saw us? I know you didn’t **owe** me an explanation, you still don’t, not really, but I would have thought you’d be honest with me anyway. I’ve always cared about you, Rory, don’t you know that? Please, don’t be so defensive. Just... Please.”

He watched as her body straightened into a defensive position, her face set in stubborn lines, and then... It was as if all the air left her, like watching a balloon inflate, and suddenly Rory looked very young and vulnerable. It made him want to reach out and hold her, like he had done so many times before, but the words leaving her lips froze him in place.

“I’m pregnant.”

  
TBC...  
~*~*~*~  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story title from Heather Nova’s song “Truth and Bone”. Chapter title and quote from “I Will Remember You” by Sarah McLachlan.  
> “Songs of Finn and Devotion” is a paraphrase of “Songs of Faith and Devotion”, an album by Depeche Mode.  
> The extent of ownership amounts to exactly one copy of each album.


	3. I Need You to Cut through to Where I’m Hidden

**Chapter 2a: I Need You to Cut through to Where I’m Hidden**

_My mouth is full of secrets I’m too afraid to tell._

_My body’s full of longing for you to know me well._

_I move through the day in the rhythms that I’ve known._

_I’ve got this crazy dream of stripping down to truth and bone._

~*~*~*~

The sign flashing by startled him, enough to almost loose control of the car. A sign? More specifically, a sign informing him that he was leaving Stars Hollow. And he didn’t even remember leaving the Gilmores’ driveway...  
Slowly Finn came back to reality, and started noticing things. One by one they called to his attention. The view through the front window was distorted, as if it was foggy outside. It wasn’t. His breathing was uneven, labored, like he’d been running. His hands, usually always steady no matter what, were shaking on the steering wheel...  


He pulled over, and fought to regain control.  
Taking inventory of his body, as well as his spinning, screaming mind, it was easy to self diagnose: shock.  


What was going on here? The last thing he remembered was talking to Rory, or well, being talked to by Rory. She’d been sitting right there, next to him – he couldn’t stop himself from glancing over, but no, just an empty seat – not looking at him, laying down the law. When had she gotten out? How could he have ended up driving away without being mentally **there**?  
He’d zoned out sometime during her talk, that much was clear. Most of it was blurry, and Finn knew he wouldn’t be able to repeat Rory’s words should his life depend on it. Only one thing stood out, clear as a summer sky. _Pregnant. I’m pregnant. Pregnantpregnantpregnant..._  
Rory’s words echoed through him. Pregnant. Everything else drowned in that, what she’d said, what he’d said, just as well as every thought he **knew** should be in his head right then. Pregnant.  


There had been more, but everything after that shocking statement was fragmented, mixed up, disconnected. Finn could feel his head spinning and bile rising in his throat and stepped out of the car. The fresh air and the pacing he resorted to helped, physically and mentally, and he found himself able to connect at least some of the dots.  
He hadn’t known how to act, or what to say. Shock, yes, but mostly he’d been relieved. She wasn’t sick. She wasn’t going to die. Anything else had taken second place to that.  
Of course, that wasn’t how **Rory** had seen it. She’d most likely taken his silence as rejection, and as an opportunity to settle things on her terms. It hadn’t been pretty. Rory didn’t want anything from him. She would be taking care of this on her own, and the only thing she needed him to do was go back to Yale – the sooner the better.  
He’ done exactly that, neither arguing or questioning it, but now that his brain was beginning to function again it was screaming at him.  


 _What the hell are you doing?_ The voice inside his head sounded remarkably like his mother’s, Finn noticed detachedly. _What she asked me to_ , he replied, fully aware of how crazy it was to have an argument with himself – no matter who his inner voice sounded like. His answer didn’t satisfy that “mom-voice” one bit – it went straight back to screaming at him. It reminded him about how his real mom had reacted the time a nine year old Finn had gone surfing during a big storm.  
The fact that he’d broken two ribs, fractured his wrist and suffered a concussion had sort of proved his mom’s point. He wasn’t enough of an idiot to think she was any less right now, simply because she’d been reduced to a voice in his head.  


That feeling he’d just experienced? Not being in control, going with the flow without thought, not remembering... Finn recognized it. It was similar to how he’d felt during too many nights drinking, during too many stupid stunts. It made him feel weak. He’d never felt weak around Rory before.  
Then it hit him. The reason he’d always felt strong around his kitten? He’d been himself with her. And this, walking out on the girl he was in love with and wanted back, the girl who was carrying his baby? That wasn’t him, not really. That was the actions of the travesty of a person he’d learned to be – fulfilling all the clichés about society guys.  
He’d left because Rory told him to, had told himself that it was what she wanted, what she needed, but that just wasn’t right. It couldn’t be. Something told him that this wasn’t what Rory wanted, but what she **expected**. But why?  


Finn wasn’t stupid. Sure, he almost always ended up as the clown, and more often than not he was satisfied with that, but that didn’t make him stupid. Sober, he was quite the opposite. So, now was the time to use that. He knew Rory quite a bit better than people would suspect – even had they known about their relationship. While talking might not have been what they spent most of their time together doing it wasn’t uncommon for them to do so. Every now and then Rory would tell him something about herself, her past, her thoughts and feelings, and he would listen. So what had he learned?  


The first thing that came to mind was her dad. _Of course_. According to what she’d said her father had always acknowledged her, had never tried to stay out of her life completely, but at the same time had never really been there for her. He’d never been a part of her everyday life, hadn’t helped raise her and to Finn those infrequent visits sounded more like play-dates than father-daughter time.  
Sure, from what Rory had said Lorelai had been the one calling the shots from the beginning; refusing to get married, running away with her baby daughter, wanting to manage on her own. But, that didn’t excuse Rory’s dad. He could have been around more even without a wedding ring, could have taken the time to actually be there without giving up on everything else. Listening to Rory, both what she’d said and what she’d left unspoken, had given Finn a rather clear picture of how it had been. Her dad had been given an easy out through Lorelai’s actions and had taken it. End of story.  


When talking about how her dad had chosen his new life, his new girlfriend and new daughter, over her and her mom Rory had voiced the belief that her dad had simply chosen the easiest path. With his new family he’d be the good guy who stood up for them and so on, while with the old one there would always be the fact that it had taken him eighteen years to do so. Finn felt she’d probably been spot on.  
And now, he realized, he was about to act just like her dad.  
Leaving – even though he’d been told to do exactly that – was taking the easy way. Now, was he going to do that just because Rory expected him to? She’d told him she didn’t expect anything from him, that she hadn’t planned on telling him she carried his child, that she didn’t want to get married (not that he’d gotten the chance to even **think** about suggesting that). Should he do that then?  


Finn knew that his actions now would define the rest of his relationship with Rory – even should it never be anything but as parents to a shared child. Did he want more than that? If, he needed to figure it out quick, because every minute he was away from Rory right then would further cement her opinion of him. He'd set out for Stars Hollow that day to find out where Rory was, so he could go find her and try to win her back. Finding out she was pregnant had stunned him. So. Time for the questions.  


Had his decision to find Rory been the right one? _Yes_.  
Had he been deceiving himself when he called his feelings love? _No_.  
Did he still want Rory back? _Yes_.  
Enough so to take responsibility and be a father? That one needed more time.  


Two minutes later he was driving again – back to Stars Hollow. Back to Rory, and more importantly back to his unborn child. Towards the possibility of a family and being a man at last.

He knocked, waited, and then knocked again, only just refraining from pounding the door. They needed to settle this, and they needed to do that now. Trying to knock the door down with his fists probably wouldn’t help.  
He could be calm, and civilized, and wait for someone to answer the door. He could do all those things and more – as long as Rory showed up in the next thirty seconds or so.  
When she did – just as he was once more debating the merits of knocking versus pounding – Finn held up a hand to stop her from interrupting and opened his mouth to start and try to sweet-talk her into seeing things his way.  


“Are you keeping the baby?”  
Okay. That was **not** the best conversation starter. It sure as hell wasn’t how he’d planned on doing this, but it had suddenly hit him from out of nowhere. Maybe the reason she hadn’t told him, why she said she didn’t need his help, was because she wasn’t planning on keeping the baby. The thought hurt. He’d only known she was carrying his baby for a short time, but he’d already begun to identify himself as a father. He already loved the thought of the baby, his and Rory’s child.  


“What? Look, Finn, I don’t...”  
“Are you keeping the baby?”  
“Don’t you think that it would be kind of hypocritical for someone like me to have an abortion?” She still wasn’t answering his question, and she was refusing to meet his eyes.  
“Yeah, well, there’s hypocrites everywhere, kitten.” He saw her flush scarlet. Meaning she’d probably considered the option, but for some reason decided otherwise. Also, there was a good chance someone had already called her a hypocrite for it. His money was on Lorelai. “Plus, there’s adoption. Now, if that’s what you decided on, can I change your mind? And if not, would you please consider giving the baby to **me**?”  
“You?” She looked like she didn’t believe her ears. Probably didn’t either. “You, with a baby? Are you **drunk**?”  
That did it. So, he didn’t have the best track record when it came to being responsible, but still. That didn’t mean he didn’t know how to be. He **did** , he could – but in order to prove that he needed to make her give him a chance. Needed to start fighting back. He was surprised to feel part of him practically purr in contentment at that decision.  


“I’m not that bad, Rory. I drink too much at times, yes, but have you seen me like that for the past months? Also, I **can** act responsibly, I just choose not to most of the time. For instance, I’ve never gotten below a B in any of my classes, not even when sick. I’m a double major. I’ve spent every summer since I was fourteen working, and I’ve never missed a day at work except at doctor’s orders. I have a job waiting for me when I graduate. I have enough money to support us even if I don’t take that job. I know how to cook and clean and I can hire a nanny to help out. Last, but not least, I’m that baby’s father.  
“From my angle, giving me the baby if you don’t want to keep it sounds like a very reasonable idea.”  


“I’m keeping it.” She looked angry and hurt – and _was that jealousy?_ – and like she was about to cry.  
“Finn, I don’t get why you’re acting like this. Why did you come back? I’ve already promised not to make any demands. I’m not... I don’t understand. We were just having fun, remember?”  
She sounded so sad, and it was hurting him to keep pushing her, but he needed to get this resolved.  


“Look here, kitten, what we had? It was nowhere near ‘just having fun’. Yeah, sure, it was fun, and plenty of that too, but it was a lot more than that. The only difference between what we had and a ‘real’ relationship is in the words.”  
“No, Finn.” She still sounded sad, and more than a little dejected. “In a relationship you actually admit to knowing the other person.”  
There was that, of course. Only...  


“Yes, I could have acted better. But let’s say I’d had the guts and the brains to ask you out properly. Would you have wanted to go public, with my friends and your family? Between your mom’s hatred of everything and everyone in society, and your grandparents’ desire to ‘marry you off’ to some proper young man, and then Logan chasing you on top of that... Do you really think you’d have wanted for everything to be out in the open, or do you think we would have been sneaking around for a while, until we were sure we could make it work?”  
He was pretty sure he knew the answer. Maybe not the one he’d get from her, but the true one. Rory hadn’t made any more effort to be open about their connection than he had, and from what she’d been saying she sure wouldn’t have wanted to face all those people for something that might end before it began. So, now the question was if she was willing to admit to it.  


“Okay, I’ll admit you have a point. A moot one, now, but still. What does it matter now though? It’s over, whatever it was, and now we’re even further apart than ever. Just, please... Finn, can’t you just let it go? Can’t you just **leave**? Go back to your comfortable life, and let me deal with mine.”  
Leave? Let her “deal”? Was she completely of her rocker?  


He was about to go off again when he noticed how she looked. Pale, tense, lines around her eyes... Finn knew that look, had seen it more times than he could remember back at Yale – _liar, you remember each and every time_ – and knew what it meant. Headache, dizziness, hunger, stiff muscles, nausea... All rolled into one, all connected, all plaguing her. _Just like you_... She probably hadn’t been sleeping too well either, he added to his mental tally, seeing dark shadows under her eyes. Oh, he knew exactly how susceptible Rory was to stress, and this was maybe the best example of that he’d ever witnessed.  


At Yale he’d always done his best to take care of Rory whenever she felt like this, and had done a good job of it too, and now here he was making things worse. Shame washed over him.  
“Rory? I’m sorry. I didn’t come here to argue, I really didn’t. I... I want to understand, for one, but this isn’t the way.” He tried to think of the right way to proceed, and suddenly realized something very important.  


“Where did your mom go? Back to the Inn?” If Lorelai was gone for the night then they were good, but if she could reappear any minute... Not good. **So** not good.  
“She went out to get dinner. And no, I have no idea when she’ll be back. It depends on where she went, and whether she decides on take-out or eating there.”  
“Why didn’t you go with her?” _Oh. Oh yeah, right, **that**_. “Scratch that, I get why. So what are you doing about dinner then?” He just might have gotten that opening he desperately needed.  
“Oh, there’s always something in the fridge.”  
Somehow he doubted that. He remembered all too well how things had been at Yale – where her fridge was either empty or full of more or less hazardous leftovers – and what she’d told him about the Gilmore Girls eating habits. Also, the way she shifted from one foot to the other while avoiding his eyes... Nah. He **really** doubted the existence of edible food in the house.  


“Look, I haven’t eaten yet either. How about I take you to dinner? That way we get to talk without your mom barging in, you know, privacy and neutral ground?” Of course, seeing as they were in her hometown “neutral” was pretty much a no-go, but still. It would be better than her home – or his.  
“Privacy? In Stars Hollow? God, did you not listen to a single word I said about this place? First of all, mom’s gonna find out in like five minutes – heck, **the whole town** will know in five minutes – and even if she doesn’t come running pretty much everyone else will. Either that or they’ll be catching the updates by phone or online. Don’t ask, let’s just settle with ‘Kirk plus Internet equals bad idea’. Do you really want to have this discussion with that kind of audience?”  
He didn’t. He really, really didn’t. Neither did she, that much was obvious, but then again she didn’t want to have it without the audience either.  
“No, I don’t. Then we’ll go somewhere else. I could drive us over to Hartford?”  
That wasn’t the best idea either he knew, seeing as her grandparents lived there and she’d gone to high school there, but it was the only one he had – at least the only one she might agree to. Dinner in an anonymous restaurant in New York would be fine with him, but Rory? Not so much, probably.  


She saw the same problems he did, and most likely a few more, but didn’t say anything. Instead she got a pensive look, and started worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. When she finally spoke it was hesitant.  
“There’s this place... Not fancy or anything, but I’m pretty sure we’d get that privacy there.”  
“Okay. Get in, and we’ll... I don’t know, talk some on the way?”  


Only once they were both seated and he pulled out Finn realized that it would probably be a really stupid idea to talk in the car. Sure, there wouldn’t be anyone listening, but he’d already proved he wasn’t exactly in control. The last thing he wanted to do was to end up crashing with Rory – _and their baby_ – in the car. _Okay. New plan_.  


“Do you want to pick out some music? Just... I know I suggested we talk now, but maybe it’d be better to just calm down for a little while. Also, I want to be able to focus on you, and our talk, not on driving.”  
Out of the corner of his eye he saw her nod, and then she started going through his music. There was a wide collection to chose from, everything from heavy metal to classical, and he was curious what she’d pick. When Heather Nova poured out of the speakers he did his best to not try and read into why Rory might have picked that particular CD.  


Instead he focused on the fact that no matter what his Rory-kitten – and _fuck_ if he’d agree to her not being his – was there with him once again, making the world feel right.

~*~*~*~

Story title, chapter title and quote from Heather Nova’s song “Truth and Bone”.  
“Songs of Finn and Devotion” is a paraphrase of “Songs of Faith and Devotion”, an album by Depeche Mode.  
The extent of ownership amounts to exactly one copy of each album. 

**Author's Note:**

> Story title, chapter title and opening quote from Heather Nova’s song “Truth and Bone”.  
> “Songs of Finn and Devotion” is a paraphrase of “Songs of Faith and Devotion”, an album by Depeche Mode.  
> The extent of ownership amounts to exactly one copy of each album.


End file.
